Two posts ago, I had mentioned that it wasn’t quite time for the “reflection” post yet. Now that it is January 4, I think that time is now.

Thinking back over the past decade, the decade where I essentially grew up, I realize that I am terrified. I am getting old. I remember ten years ago! I remember when 2000 came, and we were all scared that there would possibly be some crazy crisis. My neighbor, Tony, turned off the breaker box as the clock turned, freaking everyone out. It was a good practical joke. It just freaks me out that I can actually remember how I spent December 31, 1999. I remember when I was 13, and I thought that when I would be 17, I would be old. I remember thinking that college was so far away. And now…College is two years over.

So what has happened over the past 10 years? Going from child to woman. Battling with an eating disorder, possible alcoholism, depression, anger, typical teenage angst, fights with my mom, struggling over where to go to college. Dating Justin, Jeff, and Dustin. Although I’m sure that everyone my age has similar stories and adventures of the past ten years, I feel as though I’m glad the decade is over. Thank God I got out of the relationships I thought were supposed to last forever. Thank God that I met the people that I did, but I’m glad to have gotten rid of the poisonous ones and continued on my journey with the ones that matter. Thank God I don’t have a problem with acne any more. It has been over two and a half years since I have last thrown up (you know, unless I was actually ill), and thank God that is no longer a problem for me.

Now, here I stand on the dawn of a new decade, and I wonder what I want to accomplish. I want to move into a nice home. I want to buy a house. I want to get a dog. I would like to be married, but I’m really not in a huge hurry for that. I want to be settled, and I want to be a teacher by that point, or maybe be working on my phD. I think I just want to be a good person. I want to finish all of my goals on this site, even though it is probably unrealistic that I complete all of them. I want to stay close to Anna and Dustin. I want to get even closer to God. I want to become a valuable educator. I want to have made some sort of difference in Haiti.

I know that these are high and lofty goals, but here are my New Years Resolutions for 2010:
1. Take better care of my body.
2. Be nicer. Stop gossiping so much, and enjoy people for who they are, not for who I think they need to be.
3. Improve my relationship with Dustin. He rocks, I love him, and I never want to not be close to him.
4. Get a good job. Something that makes me happy.

I’m standing (ok, not literally) here, healthier than I have been in a whole year, and I just hope that God gives me something great.

God is good. All the time.

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