I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the places I would like to go when I graduate from my master’s program. Where I would like to move to, where to settle in and call home. Everything just seems so open to me, and I could honestly go anywhere. Nashville with Jackie, Suzie, and Anna. Shepherdstown or Frederick. Boston to live with Anna. Maine to reinvent myself. Haiti to do long-term mission work. Or somewhere else in the world where the Peace Corps tells me to go.

The problem isn’t that I’m stuck in a specific location. After May, there is nothing tying me to D.C., let alone this country. I’m just scared. I don’t make friends easily, and I would like to stay near the ones I do have. I don’t even see them all that much, just living 90 minutes from Shepherdstown, so how often would I see them if I moved far away? I have a bad habit of locking myself in my apartment and doing lonesome stuff like knitting or reading or writing, and if I moved somewhere alone that would be all I would do. Since I moved to DC, I have made maybe 4 new friends, people I would call on a Saturday night to hang out.

Sometimes I don’t understand what is wrong with me, why I don’t like people more. I guess it’s the John Curry in me, but it really is a little debilitating. I have this heart itching for adventure, but I’m too scared to jump because I know I will be moving to solitude if I do.

And then add on to it that I am a single lady, and that I hope to fall in love and get married at some point in my life, and that if I’m moving to solitude than that is never going to happen. Maybe I’ll just move home and let my parents decide the rest of my life…Yeah, and that will help with happiness and man-catching…Blahh, this will make me feel better though: